On August 12, 2015, at 9:24 am, we welcomed a new addition to our family. The sweet angel was a baby boy: Length: 47 cm – Weight: 2.37 KGs – Name: Ramzi.
Ramzi wasn’t due until September 10th, but Mommy and baby were ready and this time I had no choice but try the C-Section.
Today, 12 months passed and I have some thoughts and confessions to share.
To My Ramzi:
- When I had the positive indication on the test, I wasn’t expecting it and it wasn’t planned.
- I felt more tired & scared than the 1st pregnancy.
- I thought I won’t be able to love you the same way I love your sister.
- I couldn’t breastfeed you properly.
- You had to stay 2 days at the intensive care without seeing mommy
- I didn’t hold you enough on the first few weeks.
- I was so upset with you at the first couple of months because you didn’t sleep at night and cried on so many of them.
- I compared you to your sister.
I’m so sorry for all of that. I’m sorry because it took me couple of months to know and see the love I have to you. I’m sorry if I stressed you out. I’m sorry.
Mommy was stressed out and passed a difficult test which we’ll talk all about once you’re big enough to understand. Mommy had to go through a c-section that caused you respiratory distress for 2 days and caused her lots of pain afterwards. I know it wasn’t your fault, but it happened that mommy got stressed out.
12 months later, I’m able to speak up my thoughts and feelings and tell you my little man that you were and will be until the end; Mommy’s blessing. The smile you give me every time my eyes meet yours is priceless; it is that assuring smile that makes me own the world.
Little one; I love you more than words can say and I’m sure that one day, when you grow out of my lap, I’ll be that proud mom who had the privilege of being there at every moment.
My Ramzi, you completed our family to perfect. All I wish for you and your sister, is to grow up in a safe world that has nothing for you but peace.
Happiest 1st Birthday My little Man. Wish you many happy returns ❤